Forwarding Address Please!


MoxieI have a dog … a small dog.  She looks like an Ewok from Stars Wars when her fur is long.

Last year I had a bad habit.   I’d take my dog out and not pick up her do-do (number 2).  Hey it’s outside my rented house so who cares!  But my landlord wasn’t impressed and I could not blame her.  Me failing to pick up my dog’s do-do was a reflection of my laziness and my less than thrilled enthusiasm to pick up warm mushy stinking dog do-do freshly deposited at my feet.  Nothing beats the smell of dog do-do first thing in the morning.  But I must show my responsibility … my dog is a member of my family.  When my daughters had a dirty diaper, I’d change it.  Now there’s something that challenges the smell of dog do-do …. P-U!

This morning, with my hand still holding the warm bag of doggie do-do, I got a got another surprise.  There in the driveway behind my car was a neatly tied blue bag of dog do-do.  Not mine … I use grocery bags … not the “official” doggie bags.  RAGE immediately rises!  Lizard brain surges forward!  Then I calm down to a point and imagine the person who would think it appropriate to lob their dog do-do into my yard.  What do I think of such a person?  What perspective of that person do I have?

  • They do not have much consideration.  Their immediate needs come 1st.
  • They do not have much of a conscience.  Out of sight and out of mind!  “Not my problem anymore!”
  • They do not have the proper skills to take care of their dog.  I’d hate to see them with their kids … of course I’m assuming they had luck procreating with another sentient being.
  • They do not have much ambition … laziness must abound in that person’s life
  • They do not want the responsibility or hassle of taking care of “business” (or do-do).  Well you just made it my business … take your business elsewhere!
  • They do not want to be seen carrying a bag of doggie do-do.  SWALLOW your pride!  Please keep all do-do out of your mouth when you do this!  Such actions will cause GAGGING and intense GRIMANCING! 

Now let’s count the “dos” …. 6 … now pair them up …. Tie them up in some of my frugal pseudo doggie bags … “…beaver goes up and around the tree and back into the pond … ”  THERE!  3 bags of doggie do-do!   Now all I need is the address of the person who threw the doggie do-do into my yard this morning.  Damn!  There isn’t an address on the that bag!

Please!  The next time you lob your doggie do-do into my yard, please attach a forwarding address on the bag!  I will do you a favour and personally walk your doggie do-do to your house and return your “present” with 3 additional bags of do-do from my dog.

I’m the Heretic Lemming.

Lead with thought … think before you jump!


Am I a Glass of Water?

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Am I a glass of water?  I’m made of mostly water.   When you see me do I look like a puddle, a lake, a stream, an ocean?  Yes I hear you … do I see the glass half empty or half full?  Ah … yes … like many North Americans it’s hard to get through life without this quick personality analysis based on a 1st impressions and perceptions of one’s inner soul.  But what if I was not thirsty and said in my mind … “That glass is half full and I really don’t want to drink anymore”.   On the other hand I could be thinking … “That glass of water is half empty but I’m still thirsty … so I’m going to drink the rest”.

Wait a minute … you’re mumbling to yourself again saying that a half full glass means I see things positively and the half empty glass sees things negatively.  Well that’s a grand presumption!   Wouldn’t our upbringing, our society, our social group, our inner thought being, our soul determine the perception of how we see the water in the glass?  Can we lump every human being 50/50 (negative or positive) based on how they see that glass?  Based on what western society thinks?  Western society, being a mosaic of different cultures, cannot apply a unifying perspective like a half empty or half full glass of water.  This is way too simplistic to fully see who is front of you.   A person you just met. How about getting to know that person before applying a ‘perspective’ on that person?

We say “You shouldn’t judge a book by the cover”.  Doesn’t that fly in the face of the glass of water comparison on one’s attitude?  Seems contradictory.  Make up your mind society … are quick analyses the best approach to see the true value of a person in society in the long run?

We could view one’s birth as a full glass of water and one’s death an empty glass of water.  Full at birth, representing one’s potential in life; empty at death … since … well … you’re dead … not much potential there unless you see our bodies as future plant food.   If we’re plant food, you must be a Pollyanna.  Oops! I’m slipping into western thought patterns and judging you with societies’ zealous perceptions.

The quality of one’s water in our glass matters.  If we perceive the glass as only half empty or half full … how do we know if the water is fresh mountain water from a cool glacier or city water full of chlorine to kill the germs?  I’ll take the mountain water every day but what if the ‘mountain water’ person saw the glass as half empty?  Hmmmm … is that person still ‘negative’?  You’re missing out on a superior tasting water.  Meanwhile, the chlorinated ‘city water’ person’s water is less inviting to taste even though they are perceived as ‘positive’.  If you love chlorinated water, please forgive my analysis (love that taste of pool water in my mouth … mmmmmm).

Sometimes a quarter glass of water is worth much more than the full glass value of someone else.  Some people go around most of their lives with their cup of water and use it very sparingly.  They talk a great game about how great their water tastes to get you interested in their value and potential to you.  But once you offer to taste their water (hire, become a friend, marry, etc.),  … their like misers with their own water … afraid to use it … afraid to share their potential … because they have what they want now … a positive perception of themselves from you.  How often are those positive perceptions not spot on?   Are they hiding their own selfish ambitions, egos, fears or even incompetence?  Why do they not use their water?  Others are willing to share their water without a thought.  They want to use their water to grow somebody.  They don’t want to hoard their water and deprive others of it.  They know that sharing their water makes their water a precious gift especially to those who receive it.   They love seeing others grow their own positive self worth in society.

Perception shapes our reality everyday.  One should never settle on a perception as fact.  Perceptions without thought is a dangerous game.   Perceptions are not always reality.  You must verify your perceptions with some long term thinking.  Don’t be quick to judge with perceptions only because it could ruin a person and taint the quality of society especially when the person being perceived is narrowly viewed from the eyes of a stranger.  Have you’ve ever had an arch enemy turn out to be one of your best friends in life?   How good were your 1st impressions, your 1st perceptions of that person?

So am I a glass of water?  What are your thoughts?

I’m the Heretic Lemming

Lead with thought … think before you jump!

The Lion Leader


Hey lemmings are not the only wildlife in the forest.  Recently, we had a LION as a leader.  Whenever he wanted something done he’d ROAR his orders.  If you didn’t follow he’d bare his teeth and fear you into compliance.  After all … he was a lion … and I was a snack if I did not follow.

He’d ROAR his orders … the animals would scurry and paid heed to the great king.  He and his fellow lions would keep close tabs on the animals to make sure it they crept out of line of where they were supposed to be in the forest they’d be forced back into place.  He would devour all dissenters.  He would only share food with himself or his closest followers.  But he struggled to lead.  He secretly feared losing his power over others.  He’d strike fear into animals by roaring.  When he roared, the animals listened … at least at first.  The more he roared, the quieter the forest got.  As his reign over the jungle continued he saw fewer animals of any kind … including his own lions that would approach him.  Most of the wise animals left the king’s forest … other’s that stayed were banished or muzzled since there was no room for any that challenged his authority.  After all, he was the “King of the Jungle” and that demands respect no matter what.

One day his pride got in the King’s way.  All their food was disappearing.  The forest was becoming empty and unable to support the pride.  The King of the Jungle was banished by his pride from the forest to a place that best suited his own pride’s needs.  In his place, a lioness known more for her gentle growling than roaring was made “Queen of the Jungle”.  Many animals feared the new Queen because of the old King but the Lioness did not see herself as the “Queen” of the forest. Instead …

  • She listened without devouring those who spoke to her
  • While she slept she let others lead in her behalf
  • She’d shared food with others; it was all about keeping the forest healthy
  • She’d protected all the animals, including the ostriches, from rumours and fears of things that threatened the forest
  • All decisions were announced on the open grasslands for all the animals to hear
  • She inspired other animals to lead whenever they could to share in the responsibility of leading.  Many of the best leading ideas were other animals under her reign.

When her reign ended, there was a sadness that crept into the forest but it was short lived.  The grand lioness had left a lasting impression on those left in the forest on how to live in harmony and happiness and especially on how to lead a forest effectively.

Recently, there have been ugly rumours from The Land of the Elephants of a new up and coming leader called “Elephant Trumpus” … but that’s a story I hope I won’t have to tell.

I’m the Heretic Lemming.

Lead with thought … think before you jump!